Most of us with bipolar struggle at some point with compliance with our treatment plans.  The side effects of our meds make us wonder if they’re really worth the benefits.  We start feeling better and think we don’t need them anymore.  The stigma if having to take psychotropics. 

I don’t mind the Abilify and the Cipralex but I detest the lithium.  Absolutely detest it.  I had hoped the Abilify would replace the lithium completely but my doc says they have to work together.  And insurance coverage is dependant on my following my treatment plan.  Which means I have to stay on the lithium.

My wonderful therapist has given me some amazing insights on minimizing the emotional and psychological impact having to take it has on me.  But the struggle is still there. 

I stare at the pills in my hand
Loving to hate them
Refusing to love them
Little pills of
Artificial sanity
Correcting
Misfiring neurons
Replacing
Missing chemicals
With manufactured
Emotions