THE AIR

I’ve recently started EMDR for my PTSD. And it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Going back into the memory while tracking your therapists hand movements. And the fact that those memories that you have tried so hard to bottle up now run rampant through your brain. Through your waking hours. Through the few hours of respite you get a night. And the worse time of all, that gap between wakefulness and unconsciousness.

Laying in bed

Your ghost beside me

Sucking the air

Out of the room

I remember your hands

Your body

Taking what you wanted

Not what I gave

Memory

Continues to suck

All the air

Out of the room

I couldn’t breathe then

I can’t breathe now

Here alone

Laying in bed

Violating me

Over and over again

Sucking the air

Out of the room

Tears I couldn’t shed then

Pour now down my cheeks

Torment and despair

Sucking the air

Out of the room

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