As many of us bipolar bears, I have been on a cocktail of numerous psychotropic drugs. While keeping me from being actively suicidal, they have definitely left me feeling numb. No severe lows, but no highs either. This feeling flat has robbed much enjoyment out of my day to day existence. So after being on it for two years, and my blood levels getting lower and lower with the same fairly high dose, we started titrating it. Once down to 600 mgs spread out over two doses, my doctor let me quit it completely. And within days my mood skyrocketed. Hypomania for the win. After being disinterested in everything for so long this has been a welcome change.
Of course, there’s always a downside, isn’t there. Impulsive behavior. Reckless reckless thoughts. Knowing the outcome is always the same doesn’t make not giving into them any easier. Thankful for a solid support network and an understanding, yet firm, therapist. Who is letting me email her through the holidays if necessary, as I’m in a “vulnerable place” right now.
So happy holidays to all and may you stay safe.