As I wrote last time, oh so long ago, I was waiting results from an ultrasound, as my liver enzymes were all elevated in the blood work I had. Unfortunately for me, I wound up with excruciating pain in my right side, right under my ribs, that started radiating around to my back. Which freaked me out a little. I called my doctor, but he was out of the office for the day. So I waited until evening, hoping it would go away. Sat on the phone with Telehealth, waiting for three hours before I said, “Fuck it”, and just went to the hospital. Nine and half hours later, I had a prescription for antibiotics for a suspected UTI (no symptoms but trace blood in the urine and a lack of kidney stones showing in the CT scan) and was sent home to follow up with my doctor.

CT scan of my kidneys showed my liver to be fatty. Non-alcoholic fatty liver. It’s a good thing I don’t drink. He said to just keep up with the metformin for my recently diagnosed diabetes, and to follow up with more blood work in two months. Some research from reputable sites has led to me believe that I can manage this somewhat with a radical diet change. I have always joked about being a carnivore, but really, I hate most vegetables. And they hate me. My system does not tolerate most vegetables unless they are cooked pretty thoroughly. I’ve already made some changes with the diabetes diagnosis, so we’ll continue with that. The prognosis of letting it go is kind of scary.


It’s finally caught up to me. My failure to nourish myself; to take care of myself. My doctor finally took notice of my extreme fatigue and sent me for a battery of blood work and an EKG. I don’t get to go over the results with him until the 9th, but I was able to get them online. Not looking too good. Red blood cells indicate there is inflammation somewhere, and liver enzymes indicate that is where it is. Been doing some reading on the potential outcomes of what that means. Anything from non-alcoholic fatty liver to liver cancer. Obviously. Everything on-line these days is cancer. But the fatty liver is a definite possibility. I eat a diet heavy in red meat and carbs, and very low in fruits and veggies. Most of what I’ve read indicates that the results can be changed by diet. So that is good. Also, my blood sugar count and A1C were high. Indicative of diabetes high. Now that being said, the inflamed liver could be causing artificially high results. So it’s a waiting game. I’m not changing anything major until I talk to my doctor and we figure out exactly what is going on. My therapist noted that I’m not beating myself up about it. I figure it is what it is. I can’t do anything about what I’ve done to my body, the only thing I can do going forward is take better care of it. Now if only I could apply this the trauma stuff.

This came just at a time when my therapist was really starting to address my disordered eating. I started writing down everything I eat, just to get a benchmark of where I’m at. And that benchmark is very poor. Very poor. One vegetable all week, and that was corn, the worst vegetable ever. My therapist asked me what my self care plan was for the week. I’ve already given up pop mostly, so now it’s time to had a few more greens to my diet. And drink more water. Coffee is not a water substitute. The caffeine negates the hydrating effects of the water. I jokingly said I was going to make a coffee using a Monster Energy drink instead of water. She jumped all over that and told me to stay very far away from them. Well, suggested very strongly. She no longer couches things gently. We’ve been working together too long for her to tiptoe around.